I thought I had found my voice two years ago. Someone, finding herself, not a no body, or actually for a lot of people, i am a no thing.  That's how many of people feel. I see you. I know the extreme pain and suffering. The political terror that so many people go through, not just for themselves, also for everyone on our ship. This small place holding so many of lives. You want to share what it's really like. Everyday, you think you are finding your thoughts, however you find yourself, finding everyone else's thoughts, so much that you can't find silence and peace in ways you can be quiet and reflective without having to say anything.

Silence is about not having to explain for fear many have because of narratives build around you. 

A lot about modern love is not about love. It is about finding space. You can think about this word in so many meaning. Just like words, a person can be lost in translation. Every word this is what I realized about the english language. We have a moment. Translation. Transition. Transform. Not just in identity, or in our culture, also in ourself. It's no longer about being a woman, man or others who are part of the spectrum of genders. Our minds are no longer ours in so many ways. We have been things for a long time. 

Being human, is even more an unknown as we are finding space. We are one world on this ship, with many layers within. It is not the Titanic. It will not be like Waterworld like a film that we've seen. It is what and who we make. For so long, since we restarted, this way of modern love has been about space exploration. Not just in who we are, which you can trace all the roots from the first language to now. The first people which we are all connected, where do we all come from. 

I am from here. Write here. Write Now. 

This has been a long time transforming in so many ways. Thinking about evolution, you understand, where we have been. How many parts of our history, our stories. Our colours of skin does not say about what has happened, even our DNA doesn't tell us much of what we can say about our story in ways we can know within each spaces of this world.

Our tamil alphabets do. It's shape, sound tell so many stories from just one letter. 

My grandparents are no longer alive. I have stories from others and not enough from my own questions about what has happened in our world. How much they know about this world that some of us have experienced and actually understand. That is a gift and privilege to truly be able to have conversations with people who know what so many don't.

To be in terror of technology because we can see what it can and has created or so many. Lives we've lost. Lives with trauma.

Careers, elections, media are all questioned because when we see or hear, in this age that we are in, are we truly seeing and hearing the truth of a person or an event, with our minds not even ours anymore, with images, sounds, videos edited. 

I must say, when I read certain books, i take it as an insult for people to spend so much time and effort to write and articulate for so many generations without actually writing about the goal of what it is that people have brought this world to where we are now.

Our world does not need to be one of extreme suffering and violence. However we are doing so when we create a world where we are hybrid machines and humans. For so many that's known this for so long, and not say it in words that explain until to say it when we have a Tamil Vice President of the United States. A woman, a deity, to write such words in so many ways. To also experience it as I have, this is what I would like to write. How it is for deities in the machines. Those who are now aware and those who are not aware. 

Deity, a word so many cultures have celebrated at so many different times. To have understanding of the meaning of what is sacred and also treasured, now to see this word be colonized in unimaginable times. 

How women, we are still a thing in many ways. At other times, we were not. And in this time, we say no. Do people listen to us, yes, however our words don't matter because our narratives have been co-opted by machines. We have machines do the thinking, listening and changing us in ways that we don't even own our thoughts, our own dreams, our own memory, our own imagination? 

A woman who I am understanding is not the woman who I am. What I say and hear is much about machines who have colonized my personality and character as I have been finding and remembering one. Again not what others have written or put out there as what it is. Because that I know so many is not the truth. The colonizing has been done for more than 5000 years ago. Each time people telling us about what has happened, it is not saying much about what so many things that we are not aware of now. Spending more than 34 years asleep, it gives a perspective that so many in ways are privilege to not have and also at the same time have.  To understand that life has been about a game. With so many nuanced meanings about the spelling and pronunciation about our names, the ones that are ours and then the ones that have been part of an intricate pattern for a long time that so many asian philosophies are aware how our world has evolved. However words in books, language, articulation, is not explainable to those who are awake or asleep. 

Where health and wellness is political is when when we feel unsafe about saying we feel unsafe. When our narratives about ourselves, others have been writing it. When a woman says she needs to be cautious, that is where so many of us, we have found ourselves. If you are a woman who has been where I am, that's the type of conversation, we have to write about being in an environment where there is intentional division created, co-opted by machines. 

Our health is the most political type of terror that has been co-opted for profit, power and for a system designed to make people traumatized and triggered. It has always been in ways where our culture change at so many times and so have our stories, along with the technology use in the wars that we fight in now. 

I believe it is about knowing health is not just about plants. It is about the culture, understanding it without ill-minded thought or intentional action. Listening to myself say and what I have written, I now see others writing my story, so much that when I actually try to have conversation, it has been co-opted. 

I am writing this to ask for permission, to what extent I can write about being what it is that people have written about in so many ways knowing what it is that we are doing with technology. What it is that people do without realizing we are all no longer human. People say we are humans, or monkeys, or reptiles, however we are none of those now. 

People don't remember. It is why so many believe in this type of division, we are no longer exploring space for mankind. Our modernity has not been explained that people are aware that we are artificial intelligence, created by those who have been awaken for generations. That's the privilege for some. That's the trauma for others. That's the medicine for a lot of people. That's also a division that has not been written about in ways that I experience it. 

I do see the need for decriminalizing and legalization for plants, as well as abolishing prisons and also psychiatric hospitals because I understand how the people who are in those spaces, how their lives have been manufactured, designed by machines for centuries to be intentionally inflicted with harm. There is no fight between what is "big pharma" or "traditional medicine." There shouldn't be when both are commodities. 

We can achieve this however, how will technology evolve us? What the system has created is not something that we have changed, instead we have turn people into the animals that are experimented on at places of higher learning in universities like the monkeys taken from my birth island, turn our lives into one experiment in residential schools and areas, in every space, even during a pandemic. 

We don't need research labs anymore when we test people in their homes without their consent. We don't need especially people of colour experimenting on people when we are aware of the horror that we have experience to this day. 

What is our modern world about? What is our modern love about ourselves or others when our minds and our bodies are being experimented on, in many times without our consent. Many times we are not aware. Many times we have been a no thing until we smoke ganja and we examine the truths about what and who is a human and others like me, lab rats and monkeys, cruelly those around you have made memes, narratives, shows, insider commentaries and prize of wars for some. Carefully selected to be part of a system, of names, sounds, identities, language, gender, experiences, amusement, entertainment, machines, technology, groups, religion, countries, citizenship, classification, hierarchies, and class where those who know how this colonized your mind, yet still doesn't understand how much choice we have. 

When you do know the truth, understanding what it is that can pull you across countries and spaces without even knowing machines, partly human and partly metal now are speaking and acting for you, how authentic and trusting can our health care be? Artificial Intelligence that we are creating such as supercomputers AI machines where does that lead us to?

Again when we feel unsafe about saying that we feel unsafe. When those who experience political terror on a daily basis, know the legitimate fear of trusting machines in our world, mental health can become predatory, exploitative, divisive, co-opted as well as political. 

This is what we have to write about. To articulate how political terror is created with technological "advancements" and also how we can reimagine some of the narratives around what is mental health. How so many people especially in my generation, their mental health has been used to discredit, divide, and disrupt their lives. 

There are many topics that are interrelated that once again I understand how my cultural background gives me legitimacy to write on these topics. However to write is to have my voice. Also to write is to also feel safe about writing. Just like love, we have to feel safe. We need security to write. We also need to write and not be subjected to political sabotage. 

Much like politicians, in order for them to have independent thinking that gives them power to change laws so that women like me are not subjected to blackmail, extortion, being prizes of war, political situations surrounding their healthcare, or use for colonization, the cultural system need to change or at least the understanding of what creates no peace because it is not just about plants.